Monday, August 4, 2014

" Loved Up... Broke Up... & Fucked Up "

Pull me outa this downward spiral

I don't feel like i'm in my place

The truth inside won't show it's face

There's somethin inside that's cracked and broke

Can't find the energy to get up and walk

A hate for life that once was lust

Dreams and ambitions have turned to dust

I can do what i want now... but i got nothin to do

Got a fuckin head full of thoughts.... but there all about you

Go home... hit the bottle... sit up all night fuckin thinking

Then i start sinking... induced by the drinking

Am i love sick... or sick of love??

Will i end up down below or high above??

Is there a hand to break my fall before i hit rock bottom??

Or will i drink my dreams away until there all forgotten??

I don't fall asleep anymore... i'm just passing out

The spirits are seductive throughout my final bout

As loneliness rips apart my soul

I may seem strong... but i'm not whole~

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

" Rain "

Maybe i was just another girl

Not the one u would love

Not the girl u would twirl

Not your flawless white dove

Tear stained cheeks

Loveless dreams

Heartache that reaks

Falling apart at the seams

You broke a girl who would of loved u forever

Till the end was clear to be seen

I suppose i wasn't so cleaver

To have expected coming out of this so clean

The rain hits my windows glass

A reminder of the tears i've cried in my sleep

And what has to someday pass

The scars of a love.... that got just to deep~

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

"I''m A Girl Lost "

I'm just a little girl lost

Lost in the darkness i call my life

In the darkness

In the darkness where i can see

But never reach the light....

Where i just can't seem to fuckin win

No matter how hard i fight...

I'm just a little girl lost

Lost in the pain and despair that blanket my world

Lost in the hair, nails and fancy clothes that so called make me a girl....

I was told u never let anyone know when you're down

But how long can u hold your breath before u drown

Drown in you're sorrow

Drown in the pressure of worrying about tomorrow..

I am a little girl lost

Lost in this darkness

Where the true me has a place to hide~

Monday, July 28, 2014

" I Wasn't Enough "

I poured myself out

And in the end it wasn't enough

I made him laugh

I built him up

And in the end it wasn't enough

I let him know he was beautiful

I did my best to stop his pain from flowing

I gave an ear when he needed one

And in the end it wasn't enough

I put myself out there

I let him know my heart

But in the end........ I just wasn't fucking enough~

" I Love In Stages "

Summer's here

He is gone

How long must i

Make my hurt burn

Hunger pangs

Not much remains

Of my life...

Barb's and hooks

Bitter hearts and dirty looks

Everything you know we've said

Everything i know i've read

In the books and paper pages

I love in separate stages

Lusty looks from afar

Humor gruff and playfully rough

Devotion above par...

With sadness when you were too far

Next we grow in cycles

And i peddle faster on our double

Bitter ends seem to be my trend

They always break before bend...

THIS brings me back to you

Take my anger... i hope to fuck you sit and stew

Where you made me happy

Now it's sad

Where you made me love you

Now it's bad

All i can think of is blue

Because it's you~

Sunday, July 27, 2014

" Shattered "

You just left my heart in pieces

What i gave you was my whole

You said that you would take good care of it

And guard it with your soul

So you just took my precious little gift

And you treated it like trash

And with a hammer you did smash

You told me bullshit and falsehoods

To get my feelings high

And when i'm finally at the peak

You told me i could fly

But when i did get ready

And listen to what you say

To take that leap into your arms

But then you just pulled away

Not sure who i'm more angry with

Is it you or is it me

For falling for it every time

Or making me believe

Now both my wings are broken

Never will i sore

I finally took the leap of love

And crashed down to the floor~

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

" Some Truth"

So the tree stretched it's huge branches out long

So the river sang it;s same watery song

So the sun smiled it's many moons

So did the birds chirp their little wordless tunes

So the girl dreamt her wildest dreams

Of a world of flowers... sunshine and streams

A world of joy and delight

A world where her hopes and dreams could really take flight

Of a world that's happy everywhere

A world where there's never a reason to ever be scared

The look in her eyes when the reality hits

A world like this could never really exist

It was enough to make the river cry

Enough to make the birds sigh

Enough to make the sun go down

Enough to make the trees frown

The real world is full of hate

For reasons  that we don't want to state

Jealousy.... Anger.... tears and sadness

Selfishness.... hurt.... fears and madness

You begins to realize this worlds become bad

When u loose all the things you thought u really had

The fear and the pain comes rushing in

When you realise you just never can win~